After retiring, Peyton Manning opened a football-shaped pizza restaurant… and it only opens on Mondays if the Colts lose.K1

After Retiring, Peyton Manning Opens a Football-Shaped Pizza Restaurant… and It Only Opens on Mondays If the Colts Lose

In one of the strangest yet most perfectly Peyton Manning business ventures to date, the former NFL legend has officially opened a brand-new football-shaped pizza restaurant—appropriately named “Peyza Hut.” But there’s a twist: the restaurant only opens on Mondays if the Indianapolis Colts lose their Sunday game.

Manning, who dominated NFL defenses for nearly two decades, now seems determined to dominate the world of oddly-specific, emotionally-charged culinary experiences.

A Restaurant Designed Like a Giant Football

Located just a few miles outside Indianapolis, Peyza Hut looks exactly like a regulation-sized football sliced in half. The exterior even includes white laces, custom brown siding, and goalposts rising from the roof like decorative antennas.

Inside, the walls are decorated with Manning memorabilia—jerseys, helmets, and framed photos of the quarterback screaming “OMAHA!” at confused defenders. The dining booths are shaped like mini end zones, complete with digital scoreboards that light up whenever a customer finishes a whole pizza alone.

But the biggest attraction isn’t the architecture or the décor—it’s the bizarre operating schedule.

Open Only on “Miserable Mondays”

According to Manning, Peyza Hut opens its doors only on one condition: “If the Colts lose,” he said proudly, “I open the restaurant to comfort the fans. Pizza heals pain.”

That’s right—the restaurant does not operate on normal business principles. Instead, it tracks Colts game results and only opens the following Monday if the team suffers a defeat.

Fans have already started calling it “Manning’s Mourning Monday Meal Plan.”

Manning defended the system with a straight face. “Why would I celebrate victories with pizza?” he asked. “When the Colts win, people are happy. Happiness doesn’t need cheese. But sadness… sadness needs pepperoni.”

Colts Fans Love—And Fear—the Concept

Colts fans now face a weekly emotional dilemma: root for their team to win, or root for a loss so they can enjoy Manning’s legendary pizza recipe.

One fan said, “Look, I want the Colts to win, obviously… but that deep-dish Peyton Supreme? I’m not made of stone.”

Another fan joked, “We used to watch games for playoff hopes. Now we watch for pizza hopes.”

And indeed, attendance at the restaurant’s opening day was massive—because the Colts had been destroyed the day before.

A Menu Full of Manning References

The Peyza Hut menu reads like a tribute to Peyton’s entire career:

• The Sheriff Special – A pizza with toppings ordered using an audible system.

• Omaha! Omaha! Garlic Knots – You must shout “Omaha!” before the waiter serves them.

• The Pick-Six Pepperoni – Comes with six slices… but one slice is always slightly burned.

• The Denver Deluxe – A thin-crust pizza “in honor of Peyton’s slimmer, smarter Broncos era.”

• The Super Bowl 50 Gold Crust – A pizza dusted with edible gold flakes.

Manning even introduced a dessert called “Farewell Cheesecake,” which customers can order only once per visit.

Manning Explains the Inspiration

“You know, retirement hits everyone differently,” Manning told reporters at the opening ceremony. “Some guys buy car dealerships. Some guys do commentary. Me? I woke up one day and thought, ‘Why not build a giant football full of pizza?’ And here we are.”

When asked why he tied the restaurant’s operating hours to Colts losses, he nodded solemnly.

“I played here for 14 years. I know disappointment. I know what Colts fans go through. So I built a place for healing. A place for carbs. A place for coping.”

Colts Players React

Current Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson laughed when told about the concept.

“So if we keep winning,” he said, “the restaurant stays closed forever? That’s a lot of pressure, man.”

A Colts lineman admitted the team might feel conflicted.

“Win the game? Or get Peyton’s stuffed-crust masterpiece?” he said. “There are no easy choices.”

Will Peyza Hut Survive?

Economists predict Manning’s business model could go one of two ways:

• Massive success during losing seasons

• Complete bankruptcy during playoff runs

But Manning isn’t worried.

“I already have rings,” he said. “Now I just want my pizza to have rings too—cheese rings, crust rings, flavor rings.”

Whether the Colts win or lose, one thing is certain: Peyton Manning has once again changed the game… this time with dough.