“Now he’s focused all of his rage on the one foe who refused to take him up, and that is the U.N.’s escalator,” Colbert said of Trump’s recent post on Truth Social.
Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Scandal Times Three
In a lengthy post on Truth Social, President Trump claimed a “triple sabotage” occurred during his recent trip to the United Nations.
“‘Triple Sabotage at the U.N.’ Of course, also, the title of your book your dad bought at the airport.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but ever since Trump got back into office, he’s been waging a campaign of vengeance against his enemies who he believes have been trying to take him down,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday.
“Now he’s focused all of his rage on the one foe who refused to take him up, and that is the U.N.’s escalator.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“That sudden stop was a close call, especially for the first lady, ’cause he almost touched her. Yeah. Yeah, they should slide in some sort of shield like those pieces of paper they put between slices of cheese.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, usually when a drama queen throws that much of a hissy, at least Andy Cohen interviews them after the show.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (When Escalators Attack Edition)
“One of the things I want to do while we’re in New York, and I want you to go with me here. I want to see the escalator that tried to viciously attack the president this week.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I thought Trump was the most masculine president ever. You guys are talking about him like he’s a Fabergé egg. Is he a cross between Dave Bautista and Ivan Drago or is he the old lady from the ‘Life Calls’ commercial?” — SETH MEYERS, on right-wing media coverage of the escalator incident
“I’m starting to get confused. Is he the strongest, healthiest, most physically powerful man-beast ever elected president or a brittle-boned grandma with osteoporosis? Which is it?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The most masculine president in history sure sounds like someone who would get kicked off the Nextdoor app for complaining too much.” — SETH MEYERS
“They act like they dropped him into shark-infested waters. It was an escalator. You know what another word for frozen escalator is? Stairs.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Regina Hall, a star of “One Battle After Another,” told Jordan Klepper about working with a scene-stealing baby on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
Leave a Reply